If you ever have the occasion to experience simultaneous vomiting and diarrhea, you'll understand just how hard it is to describe what happened to use euphemistically to avoid offending more delicate sorts. So I've come up with a new term that I think works pretty well: digestive fire alarm. In a fire alarm, everybody moves to the nearest exit as quickly as possible. Through the digestive in front, and, well, I don't think I need to spell out just how apt this metaphor is.